I have arrived?

So yesterday I talked to several people about my struggle with weight and my current attempts to curb my appetite and drop the extra pounds.  I knew in my heart that to talk about it would make me feel like I have already accomplished my goals, but I was unable to stop my mouth from bragging about all I have accomplished so far.

Unfortunately, here I sit, the day after talking about how good God is, and I am afraid to leave this desk.  It is safe here, there are no temptations.  If I get up to get my children's lunch, I will have to walk into the kitchen.  I will have to think about food.  I will have to touch and smell food.  And I don't think I can handle it.

And yet... and yet... I have to keep going.  I have lost 10 lbs so far, probably mostly water weight, in the past 8 days.  I have 59 more pounds to go to my ultimate goal.  My first goal is to lose 10% of the weight that I started from, which would be 19 lbs.  So that is 9 more lbs to my first goal.  I also need to add in exercise, but I don't even want to think about that yet.

I pray.  I pray constantly: "Lord when the enemy comes in like a flood, you said you'd lift up a standard against it.  Please lift up a standard right now!"  It is like Peter, crying out for instantaneous help as he drops precipitously into the surging waters of the lake.  I need help now!  It has worked so far.  And every day, as I see the sun dropping over the horizon and breathe a sigh of relief, I am overwhelmed at God's commitment to me.  Why does He care if I am the healthiest me that I can be?  How He must love me!

Sometimes I think it is easy.  Some moments I feel that I don't even need His help.  Sometimes it feels like it will all be a breeze.  And then, the next second, before I can even finish smiling at the wonderfulness of myself, I am slammed with another temptation.  And then, like Peter, I scream desperately for help, again, and again He helps me.  Instantaneously.  So...

Now I can go into the kitchen, and heat up the salmon butternut balti that I made for the kids, with the jasmine rice which smells nutty and fruity and sweet, all at once, and not feel that I am deprived.  I can drink my watermelon carrot beet ginger juice and add in a dash of cayenne for my blood pressure, and thank God for reminding me how important I am to Him.  And I can come back to my computer and write in my blog with a clear conscience, and a happy heart, because I have not gained any weight today, and the day is half over.  Thank God!